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Are there things you want to do or decisions you know you must make but you don’t because you are waiting on permission? But from who?
Perhaps they are changes in lifestyle or deeper choices personally or professionally. What do you think is blocking you? What are you getting out of making the choice to do nothing? And how would your life feel if you had the courage to step out of fear and take the reins of your own life?
I recently had someone ask me these same questions. I struggle with forgiving myself for past choices and even little things on how I handled a situation or what I may have said. This person asked me what was I getting while sitting in the energy of self-criticism. It took some introspection but what I came up with was that it was in a way a crutch that allowed me to stay small and safe. The result? Blocking myself from fully engaging in life to the degree I know I am capable of.
So if you feel enclosed in a jail cell of self-doubt or fear or anything that doesn’t feel so great… remind yourself that you have the keys to let yourself out.
It’s really interesting how different themes come up each week when talking with clients, family, and friends. I think it’s how the universe or your higher self tells you to stand up and pay attention. The last few weeks I have been inundated with this idea of giving yourself permission. It’s showed up in conversations, articles, and podcasts.
All of this stuff about “permission” reminded me of the most interesting dream I experienced years ago which I’ll share it with you.
The scene was a very lonely house sitting out in the middle of the desert. The neighborhood was dark and the sky was black. It didn’t appear that anyone lived in the subdivision even though there were several other homes. The house was huge and in fact it had a workout area and indoor tennis courts the size of a high school gym. As I walked through the house with a few people from my past I noticed that while the house was very large and very expensive, it had dirt floors. There were no lights on so it was dark. It was damp and cold. Lingering among the rooms was an ex of mine. I couldn’t see him but he was there in that home along with all the expensive toys he loved to buy. One of the people said to me, “Meg this is a beautiful house! You are so lucky!”… but I couldn’t speak. Everyone else in the dream could speak but I had no voice.
Fortunately, as so often happens, my Mom showed up… thanks, Mom!
As I saw her inside the home at the front door I walked over to her and finally finding my voice said very quietly, “Mom… I don’t think I want this.” And “this” meaning the house, the toys, the gym… and him. She took my hand and walked us both out the front door.
What happened next was so “real.”
Once outside, she took out her yellow post-it note pad (some things never change) and scribbled something down, whipped off the note, and handed it to me with a look of “well, duh!” on her face.
It said… “THEN DON’T.”
Immediately the sun appeared along with the rain. The droplets were as big as softballs and when they landed on our faces they felt velvety soft. We started laughing and dancing and I woke myself up laughing.
That dream is imprinted on my conscious mind and one I go back to often when I find myself playing small, not speaking up, asking others for validation, and leading from fear.
So I ask you now… are there areas of your life where you’re waiting for someone to give you a post-it note that says “THEN DON’T!” Or “JUST DO IT!” Or “WHY NOT?” Or “GO FOR IT!”
We are here in this lifetime for a finite amount of time and while introspection and waffling are normal with big decisions, there does come a point where you have to look at the potential time, energy, and resources you may waste. Taking a leap of courage by giving yourself permission to do whatever it may be that your soul and spirit need at that time can be incredibly scary but also incredibly powerful and life-changing.
Waiting on others to give us permission to leave, stay, grow, say yes, or say no is one of the biggest stunting mechanisms in your life and what fosters future regret.
I thought of some homework for all of this week. It was inspired by a podcast interview with Elizabeth Gilbert. She recommends writing yourself a permission slip as if you were the grade school principal.
So I wrote myself a super long permission slip and it went something like this:
I give you permission to let go of the need for everyone to like you.
I give you permission to screw up.
I give you permission to not always say the right thing.
I give you permission to follow your gut regardless of what others might say.
I give you permission to ask for what you need.
I give you permission to love yourself.
I give you permission to release control.
I give you permission to choose silence when you want to react, defend, or apologize.
I give you permission to pause before trying to “make things right” for someone else.
Oh, and I give you permission to get massages once a month along with acupuncture because they feel really good 🙂
Give it a try yourself and as always I’d love to hear what you come up with!
Until next time,